By Valerie Carr CHC, CLC

I like football. I like to watch football, either live at a stadium or on TV. I believe fall and football go together like Oreos and milk. However, nothing is more frustrating for a football fan than watching their team get to the red zone, (the area between the 20-yard line and the end zone, for those who have no idea what I’m referring to) and not getting the ball in for a touchdown. Sometimes it’s due to the opposing team’s strong defense holding the runner back or a quarterback’s pass failing to reach the receiver, either way, the team was so close and failed to score.

Oddly, like football players in the red zone, we often fail to reach our finish line or end zone in life. We find ourselves working so diligently towards a goal and suddenly right when we are about to find success, something or someone stands in our way of completing the pass, and sadly, often that someone is us.

This behavior can be frustrating because it seems like all of our hard work has been for naught. The sacrifices and discipline that we put forward towards staying true to our goal and all the progress we’ve made suddenly crashes to a halt resulting in backward movement and reverting to old ways, old habits. We find not only we have lost yardage, but we are back on the 50-yard line…the starting line.

Our self-sabotaging behavior comes into play when we quit and fail to execute the necessary actions to reach our goals.

However, what drives our sabotage behavior can be challenging to determine. As a Health and Wellness coach working with clients on sabotage, I have  discovered that this kind of behavior, more often than not is a result of our self-worth. What we believe we are worth and more importantly, what we believe we deserve. This idea can be confusing to understand, because, I’m suggesting that at the moment where push comes to shove, and we are pushed to reach our goal some of us, at that moment fail. We fail because we actually don’t believe we deserve it. Yes, we don’t believe we deserve to be thin, wealthy, successful, out of debt, or any of our self-enhancing goals.

These feelings of inadequacy and lack of worth can come from negative messages we’ve been told, and rejection we have felt over our lifetime.

Unfortunately, as we age, this concept can become more common, simply because we have more experiences in life that open us up for more negative feedback and more rejection.

Combating this behavior, however, is possible.

There are steps we can take to turn this sabotaging behavior around and we can begin, right now:

1. Assess if you habitually find yourself coming up short of your goals.
2. Determine what messages you are subscribing to and who are you allowing to determine your worth.
3. Discover your strengths, your attributes…what you offer and contribute to this world. You have them…write them down.
4. Be your biggest fan.
5. Detach. Let go of other people’s opinions and past failures. Today is a new day, and it begins with you.
Finally, 6. Believe in yourself and your abilities. You are capable of achieving as much as you are willing to believe. The finish line is waiting… are you ready to cross?


Valerie Carr CHC, CLC is a functional nutrition and wellness coach who works with women to overcome sabotage and limited beliefs in order to achieve health, weight, and life goals. She can be reached at and at If you are ready to take back control of your life and stop sabotaging behavior, download my free E-book, From Sabotage to Success, at