Why Did I Just Do That? Understanding the Power of Sabotage

Why Did I Just Do That? Understanding the Power of Sabotage

By Valerie Carr, CHC, CLC

Sabotage can seem to come out of nowhere and most often right when we are beginning to realize success and reach our goals. Recognizing how sabotage and its defeating ways appear in our lives is essential to stopping self-destructive behavior.

How many times have we found ourselves in situations that are entirely contradictory of where we want to be and what we want to be doing?

It might be when our long-term relationship finally seems to be moving to the next step, and suddenly we begin talking about independence and freedom. Or the budget we have set up for ourselves is starting to reduce our debt, to then find we’re at the mall grabbing every item off the sales rack. Or worse, we’re finally losing the weight we’ve been trying so hard to lose, only to destructively throw it all out the window over a weekend binge.

What makes us act in such reckless and self-defeating ways? The answer more often than not is Sabotage.

Sabotage can seem to come out of nowhere and most often right when we are beginning to realize success and reach our goals. Recognizing how sabotage and its defeating ways appear in our lives is essential to stopping self-destructive behavior in its tracks. It begins with learning our triggers and trip-ups, and understanding how they are directly related.

Triggers are our emotions that become activated by life’s trip-ups. Trip-ups are the events and situations that occur in our lives, and they are as unique to us as our taste in food. In essence, what trips us up doesn’t necessarily mean it will trip up our friend or loved one, and vice versa. The mere fact that someone close to us doesn’t get affected the way we do, well, that can trip us up too! By learning our trip-ups, we can recognize and understand why we have a specific reaction that is ultimately leading us to self destructive behavior.

Here are some examples of trip-ups:
1. Social media postings
2. An unexpected event (either good or bad)
3. Confrontation with a loved one or co-worker
4. Nights alone
5. Unplanned financial constraint

These trip-ups trigger an emotional response within us. Over the years of working with clients on sabotage I have identified the top 10:

1. Loneliness
2. Rejection
3. Sadness
4. Hurt
5. Stress
6. Exhaustion
7. Anxiety
8. Hormones
9. Boredom
10. Anger

When an event happens, or as we’ve been discussing, a trip-up occurs and one of the emotions is triggered, our desire to continue on our positive path is sabotaged. This act of sabotage manifests in our destructive behaviors such as overeating, overspending, overdrinking, and expressing words or emotions to our loved ones that are contradictory to how we actually feel.

Instead, when we are aware of our triggers and trip-ups, we have the power in those moments to stop, assess, and acknowledge what we are feeling and ultimately prevent any negative behavior before it happens.

If you are ready to take back control of your life and stop sabotaging behavior, download my free Ebook From Sabotage to Success at www.vcwellnessllc.com

Valerie Carr CHC, CLC is a functional nutrition and wellness coach who works with women to overcome sabotage and limited beliefs to achieve health, weight, and life goals. She can be reached at www.vcwellnessllc.com,valerie@valeriecarr.com and by phone at (314) 471-8602.